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Hi ate!! yanyan here. zup?

ahahaha!! loka ka ha.. kala ko kung ano na.. hehe!

Ask me anything

ANG GANDA NG MEANING KAHIT ANG HIRAP INTINDIHIN

" I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
'Cause everything is never as it seems
When I fall asleep"


when i first heard this song, parang wala lang. when i watched the video, napa-wow ako! haha! dahil ang daming laruan, natuwa ako, aliw! but then, ano nga bang meaning behind the lyrics, composer, etc. anong message ang gustong iparating satin? nung nabasa ko yung lyrics, ang weird. ang hirap intindihin. talagang ang dami ko pang binasa na comments ng iba't ibang tao para lang maintindihan kung bakit pati ako, nagustuhan ko toh. pero sa totoo lang, nasa nakikinig at nagbabassa na kung pano at saan anggulo niya iintindihan ang gustong iparating ng isang kanta. at sa dami ng insekto, alitaptap pa ang napili niya diba? para sa akin, eto ang naintindihan ko sa kanta:

- nakakaaliw talaga ang insektong umiilaw, diba? kahit anong edad ay mabibighani sa ganda ng mga ito.

- sino bang gusto pa magising kapag maganda ang panaginip niya? dahil sa panaginip, minsan yung mga bagay na alaam natin na imposibleng mangyari sa totoong buhay, ay dito lang pwede makita. yun nga lang, wala na itong replay. :(

- may mga bagay, tao at pangyayari na hindi natin madadala habambuhay. ang saklap diba? kaya siguro may salitang "paalam".

- Nothing's permanent, but... Anyone could last it forever - till death. :)

- at ang huli... sabi na din mismo ng kumanta nito, "love everything and everyone you have right now." - sabihin at ipadama mo sa kanila o sa kanya kung gano mo siya kamahal. kaibigan man o karelasyon, kahit bagay man o hayop ito. bago pa humantong sa isang panaginip at alaala ang mga ito. (tama naman ako diba?)


***

-KATRINA-

I finished my case presentation at around 12am. hindi ko alam pero hindi talaga ako makatulog that time, as in hindi talaga, kahit anong gawin ko. until i decided to watch a movie, na medyo nakakatakot. haha! after watching the movie at around 2.45am, ok na ko, nakakatulog na ko hanggang sa biglang tumunog ang phone ko. hindi ako makapaniwala na tutunog ang phone ko ng 3am! dahil wala naman nagttxt sakin ng ganun time, at wala naman talaga magttxt sakin dahil puro importante lang mga txt na natatanggap ko at hindi sa ganong oras. natakot ako, hahaha! sa totoo lang, takot talaga ako dahil nga sa... nevermind.

ok, the first txt was, "gsing ka pa?" next txt was "tawag ka". Number lang nagAppear sa phone ko. so initial reaction ko was, sino kaya toh na gantong oras eh may balak pa ata makipag kwentuhan... *sigh*

hindi na ko makatulog dahil ang bilis niya magreply. i answered the txt with, "hus dis?", and she said "Ts Kat"

ugh! sayang, babae ang nagtxt. kung lalaki pa yun, i'll be glad to txt him kahit walang tulugan! hahahaha!!! so here it goes...

i freaked out when i received her another txt... "Aw sweet hehe. axly i jst got bored. im alone nw and i woke up sobrng lameg. aun. sorry ah? anyways yah ts kat here. May i knw hu dis is? F u dont mind thou?", una ko inisip, bat kailangan pa niya sabihin na mag isa siya at malamig? pakielam ko naman diba? considering that we dun even know each other. dahil sa mga naEncounter ko na mga pervert thru txt, malamang dahil sa txt niyang yun, iisipin ko na she was one of those. haha!

sabi niya random dialling lang kaya number ko ang nachempuhan. well, small world! coz she was from UST, and interior design ang course. haayy... i told her mine kaya naman natuwa siya...

i gave her my name as "alex", para pwedeng babae or lalaki... so all the time we were txting, akala niya lalaki ako. and she kept on saying na i'm funny... wat da heck?? i mean, she kept on asking kung anong ginagawa ko! considering na she wanted me to call her up, kaya naman ginagago ko nalang siya. haha! but not in a rude way ok? i was just telling her na i have these pets, my lizard and my ant? HAHAHAHAHA!! (kaya nasabi niya na i was funny.) iniisip ko mga pets ko kaya hindi pa ko makatulog. uhm, i'd rather not tell the details here, dahil ang korni, but seemed she enjoyed naman eh. hahahaha!! sa antok na din for almost 1 hour kami nag gagaguhan, inamin ko na din na babae ako. haha! para hindi na siya tumawag, dahil gustong gusto niya talaga marinig ang maganda kong tinig. =))

ok, sa totoo lang, nothing interesting... parang nakakaloko lang talaga na sa ganong time, bigla nalang may magttxt para sabihin na she was bored, malamig, mag isa siya at gusto niya tumawag para lang madinig ang boses ko kahit alam na niya na babae ako. lol.

Someone I used to live with…

Alam ko tapos na ang November at Love month na nga ngayon para maging inspired pa ko to write this kind of entry. But since wala ako masyado makwentuhan ng gantong klase ng pangyayari, dito ko nalang siguro sasabihin lahat. Hindi madali pero wala akong choice, kesa naman itago ko toh at masiraan ng bait sa kakaisip ng mga nangyayari- hanggang ngayon.

I was 4 years old when I had my first encounter with these entities. I had high grade fever for two weeks. Hindi ko na masyado matandaan lahat ng mga nangyari noon. Alam ko lang, I was rushed to the hospital and had a blood test, baka nga naman dengue, but the result was negative. Since my parents are both doctor, they hardly believe with those kind of entities. But my mom is a pure bicolana, so I guess, somehow may alam siya sa mga ganung bagay. She called our family friend Tita E to check up on me. She did this thing with a tawas? Pausok ata ang tawag dun. Tita E saw 3 dwarves in a tree. As I remember, madalas ako maglaro sa harapan ng bahay namin. Outside our house there were these 3 trees at isa sa mga punong yun ay malaking puno ng balite, at sa gitna pa naka pwesto. Dun ako madalas maglaro, at sa naaalala ko talaga nagsasalita ako na parang may kausap. Totoo! Naaalala ko talaga na parang may kausap ako non. Natural ba talaga yun sa mga bata? Hmm… so, tita E advised my parents to cut the tree. Si daddy mismo ang nagputol non, at habang pinuputol yun, kasama nya ako. Haha! Infairness, gumaling naman ako ha. And may alay pang ginawa. Lol. So, what dya think? Totoo kaya yun??

After 4-6 years, tita E warned me. When I reached the age of 13, mas madami na daw ako maeencounter na ganun. Medyo alarmed ako ha, kasi pumunta lang siya sa bahay para kamustahin ako at sabihan ng ganun. Creepy eh??

Ok, I was 14 years old na, at sa totoo lang hindi ko na naalala yung warning ni tita E, not until may kasama na pala ako sa clinic namin na hindi ko nakikita. Yes, may clinic kami sa bahay namin, but it was closed na, so ginawa nalang ito na library at nandun din ang personal computer. Tandang tanda ko, Tuesday night yun, nandun sa clinic namin ang isang set ng encyclopedia. Kailangan ko mag stay dun dahil may mga kailangan ako hanapin na topic. Sa dinami-daming pagkakataon, that night pa hindi naka bukas ang ilaw sa labas ng clinic namin, kaya naman napaka dilim, pero kita naman ang kalsada kaya malalaman mo din kung may tao or wala. While I was busy reading at talagang nakakabingi ang katahimikan, madidinig mo lang ang electric fan ng may biglang sumitsit sakin. Tindig talaga balahibo ko, at sobra ang panlalamig ko! First time ko maramdaman yun, sa takot at gulat!! Wala naman kasi guamagawa sakin non eh. (kinikilabutan tuloy ako ngayon. Grr!) hindi din ganun tumawag ang mga tao sa bahay. After few minutes, nawala na yung takot ko ng bigla na naman may sumitsit sakin! Ramdam ko kung gaano kalapit sakin yung tao or kung ano man yung tumatawag sakin, ang lakas kasi! Tumingin ako sa labas ng clinic, wala naman tao. Imposible din talaga na may tao sa paligid or near the clinic, dahil may gate kami bago makapasok sa clinic. My mom was on their room at si ate was busy on laundry. Sa takot ko, tumakbo nalang ako kay daddy at sinabi yun. Syempre, hindi naniwala si dad and he was busy watching basketball game. *sigh* pinalagpas ko nalang yung nangyari that night.

Hindi naman nakakatakot yung bahay namin, pero according sa mga taong dumadaan sa house, bakit daw parang laging walang tao? Hahaha!!! Naisip ko, apat lang kami sa malaking bahay at sigawan kami kung mag usap dahil nga sa laki ng bahay para sa apat na katao. Nakakatakot din daw tingnan, kasi nga ang tahimik at bihirang may makitang tao, pwera nalang kung bubuksan yung gate para sa parking. Haha! Mga chismosang tao nga naman…

Sa clinic again, 3rd or 4th year highschool na ko. I was busy chatting with friends and playing online games. Gabi na naman yun. Ang ganda ng mood ko noon at tawa pa ko ng tawa sa mga kachat ko, hanggang sa may kumatok sa sa screen ng pinto sa clinic. Pero bago pa may kumatok, nadinig ko na si ate na lumabas sa kabilang door to lock our gate. So yun na nga, after ko madinig si ate, may kumatok na malakas at parang galit sa screen, tatlong beses. Dahil nga sa maganda ang mood ko, at hindi ko din kita yung pinto kasi nakatalikod ako, tinanong ko nalang siya, “sino po sila?”, walang sumagot kaya pinabayaan ko nalang ,naisip ko baka pasyente yun na umalis nalang. (yun nalang ang inisip ko, para hindi matakot dahil nga nadinig ko na niLock na nga ni ate yung gate, so dapat wala ng makakapasok pa diba?) Few minutes after, TATLONG MALALAKAS NA KATOK na naman! GALIT NA GALIT yung katok!!! Talagang napatiplag ako sa pagkakaupo ko! Napatingin ako sa screen, walang tao! Huhuhuhu! At ako naman si nag mamatapang, nilapitan ko pa talaga yung screen at binuksan! WALANG TAO! Wala akong nadinig na yabag para malaman kung may nantitrip lang sakin. Ng mahimasmasan ako after few seconds, SUMIGAW na ko!!! Nagpuntahan na sina dad at ate sakin sa clinic! Hindi na nga kasi ako makagalaw after realizing na walang tao at may kumatok na galit na galit sa may pintuan! Grr! Umiyak nalang ako sa takot ko. Sinabi ko na may kumatok sa may screen, kaya naman my dad checked on our house at wala naman daw siyang nakitang tao. I asked ate kung nakaLock na yung mga gate and she said yes. Hindi ko talaga makakalimutan yung katok nay un, parang ayaw niya talaga ako sa clinic mag stay. After that incident, BIHIRA na ko pumunta sa clinic. Kung sino man yun, mas ok siguro kung makit ako nalang siya. Huhu! 

Second year college, first semester. I was staying on my condo unit near St. Lukes Hospital (mabilis lang malaman kung saan yun.). I was having my dinner while si ate naman ay busy watching tv. Busy ako kakakain at nadidinig ko lang yung tv ng biglang tumunog yung kampana, tunog pampatay yung kampana ha. Nagulat ako, I asked ate kung anong time yung mga misa sa dalawang simbahan na malapit sa condo, and she said na hindi naman dinig yung kampana sa Christ the king at wala naman daw misa na pang gabi sa may Trinity College (that time wala talaga, ginagamit lang yung chapel doon kung may event. I must know dahil ang ex bf ko ay graduate doon.). Kinilabutan ako, tinanong ko pa si ate kung nadinig niya yung kampana, wala naman daw siyang nadidinig. So bumalik nalang ako sa pagkain ko, hanggang sa may nadinig ako na whisper “tulungan mo ko ateeeeehhh….”, whisper na pahina ng pahina. Hindi ako natakot, naisip ko nalang, “ah ok, a girl just died.”, napa sign of the cross nalang ako. Sinabi ko kay ate na may nadinig ako na batang babae na humihingi ng tulong. Sabi naman niya, wala naman daw talaga siyang nadidinig, tinatakot ko lang daw sarili ko. Ok, hindi siya naniwala and I’m expecting it naman. Ano ako? Sira ang ulo para takutin ang sarili ko? Sino ba may gusto matakot ng ganon diba? Hmmpp…

Third year college, after first semester. Bakasyon for two weeks ata? I missed my room. I have this watch on my room. Sa totoo lang, walang nagtatagal na wall clock sa kwarto ko, ewan ko ba kung bakit. After ilang days, kahit bago yung wall clock and batteries, sira na naman! Bigla nalang hihinto yung clock. So, that time nakahinto yung clock sa 2.45. Madaling araw, tulog ako pero pakiramdam ko umaangat yung kama ko kaya bigla ako nagising, tiningnan yung wall clock ko (naka set siya sa 3 kahit hindi gumagana) at nung umalis ako sa kama ko, pakiramdam ko tumalon ako at dumerecho ako sa pinto ko, hindi ko mabuksan yung lock ng door ko kaya ang ginawa ko binuksan ko yung ilaw at tinitigan for 2 mins. yung buong room ko at bumalik ulit ako sa pag tulog. Pagkagising ko ng umaga, tanda ko lahat ang nangyari, pero pagtingin ko sa wall clock, nasa 2.45 ulit naka set. *sigh* Kinabukasan, medaling araw, nangyari ulit yun. Parehas na parehas ulit ang mga nangyari, pwera nalang sa kung pano ako nagising. Nagising ako dahli ang pakiramdam ko, nakadikit na ko sa ceiling ng kwarto ko, pakiramdam ko ang taas na ng kama ko. So umulit lang ulit yung pagtalon ko mula sa kama, di ko mabuksan yung lock ng pinto ko, binuksan ang ilaw, naka set ulit sa 3 yung wall clock, at tinitigan lang ulit ang buong kwarto. Bumalik ulit ako sa pagtulog ko, at pagkagising ko naka set ulit sa 2.45 ang clock ko. Two days magkasunod na nangyari tuwing 3am… buti nalang at pabalik na ulit ako ng manila that time kaya na-divert ang attention ko sa aactivities sa school. Matagal ko din itinago ang nangyari, hindi ko kaagad masabi sa parents ko dahil nga sa hindi naman sila maniniwala. At hindi biro yung nangyaring yun sakin, kung ano man yun at kung ano man ang dahilan kung bakit nangyari yun, ayoko lang mangdamay ng ibang tao.


Summer 2009. Madaling araw kami lumuwas ng kinakapatid ko sa manila galing laguna. Nakarating kami ng 5 or 6am. Natulog muna kami dahil 7 at 9am pa naman ang pasok namin. Ok, pumasok kami on time ni pated. Pag balik ko ng lunch time sa room namin, nagtaka ako dahil hindi naka double lock ang pintuan namin sa labas, at pagpasok ko ng room ay naka bukas din ang a/c! Naisip ko nalang na lumabas lang si pated at babalik din. Inaantay ko siya, nakatulog at nagising nalang ako, wala pa din siya. Pinatay ko nalang ang a/c at nidouble lock ko nalang din ang pintuan bago ako umalis ulit. Hapon na ng nakauwi ako, nauna ako kay pated umuwi. May inaayos ako na gamit ko ng biglang dumating si pated. Direcho kwento siya tungkol sa mga nangyari sa kanya sa school. After niya magkwento, sabi ko sa kanya na naiwan niyang bukas ang double lock at a/c. Nagulat siya dahil sabi niya sakin na nakita niya akong nakahiga, same position kung pano ako matulog at kung san side ako ng bed lagi. Hindi niya pinatay at sinara dahil ang sarap daw ng tulog ko kaya hindi na din niya ako ginising. Sa takot namin, umalis kami ng kwarto at nag dinner nalang kami sa labas. Gabi nalang kami umuwi para pagdating naming ay matutulog nalang. Ok, so pano na? sino naman kaya yung nakita ni pated na natutulog sa kama ko??? Sino naman sira ang ulo para iwan naka bukas ang a/c at hndi naka lock ang pinto kung wala naman tao diba? At kitang kita ko talaga sa kinakapatid ko ang takot niya, umiyak pa siya habang nasa labas kami that night. Whew!

3rd week of January 2010. Tuesday, 1am na ko natulog. Pinatay ko muna ang desk lamp ko, and then ang main light namin dito sa kwarto bago matulog. That time lang ako nakaramdam ng takot sa dilim! Pinatugtog ko nalang ng malakas ang cp ko at mabilis naman ako nakatulog. Nagising ako ng 7am, I turned off my cp and went back to sleep, napansin ko na naka bukas ang desk lamp ko pero binaleWala ko nalang sa sobrang antok ko pa. nagising ako ng 10am, I checked my slippers on my pated’s bed side pero hindi naman nagalaw kaya naisip ko, hindi siya dumating. Maghapon ko inisip kung pano nabuksan yung desk lamp ko. Hindi ganon kabilis makapunta sa bed side ko para lang buksan ang desk lamp ko, masikip sa side ko at mabilis naman ako magising sa konting ingay lang. hindi ako nakatiis, tinxt ko si pated at hindi nga siya pumunta sa room. So, ano na? may kasama talaga ako dito sa room noh? Ang bait niya, ayaw niya ko matakot. Sana lang, next time buksan niya habang takot ako. Kaso binuksan niya habang tulog ako eh, gusto pa niya ko mag isip kung pano nabuksan yung desk lamp ko. Salamat. Errr… >_< Gusto ko malaman kung sino yung lagi kong kasama… tsk tsk… @_@

Same, together....

... Hot coffee, dim light, scented candle beside me and old songs in low volume is now playing... Till i decided to make a new entry for the new year...


Napansin ko lang, hindi ko alam kung bakit napaka hirap simulan ng kahit anong sinusulat ko lately. Hindi ko alam kung dahil ba sa hindi ako inspired, hindi ako ready or wala lang talaga ako maisip sabihin. But, i really wanted to write something... :) Something's pushing me to make one.

..."yung blog mo ha."

Now my entry will be about my fellow friend, jake, AGAIN! whew!
As we all know, when we write in our blog site, anyone can read it freely and make comments. Now you're free to leave comments after reading this... :)


Honestly, the set up between us is a lil complicated, haha! Not everyone can understand what we had/have or we'll be having for the succeeding weeks? months? years? oh it doesn't matter...
Can anyone explain the meaning of "in an open relationship" to me?, hahaha!!
Example? US... i mean, kami ni jake! tama diba?
We go out everyday, eat together, laugh together, attend the mass together, shop together, cruise together, minsan nga tambay till 3am para lang magkwentuhan and even sleep together (walang malisya ok? nothing happened. di nga ako makatulog eh, baka may humila sa kanya habang natutulog, like in paranormal activity, which we watched, Together... lol!), same wrisk watch, same ring, basta ang daming "same" and we shared a lot of things TOGETHER. geez...

We also shared somewhat serious things we are dealing lately, like in family, school, work, friends and mga tsismis na pinag titripan namin pag usapan kapag may kuliglig na! lol! and even goals and dreams. But most of the time, HE shares kalokohan. Dun ko din naman siya nakilala. Talagang puro siya kalokohan, at talagang never kami nag usap ng matino. Minsan nga iniiwasan ko na talaga siya, kahit tumatawag pa siya noon! But that was years ago. Maloko din naman siya hanggang ngayon, pero lessen na. Sus! Mapapagod ka na nga lang kasi maharot siya. Dinaig pa lui ko, Joke! haha!

I can say that there will be no dull moments with this guy. I dunno, for me kasi wala eh. Dahil na din siguro sa alam ko mga reasons kapag tahimik siya or hindi na umiimik, kaya mapipilitan siya dumaldal dahil mahahalata ko siya. And honestly, I am really having the HARDEST time thinking why the hell he's tahimik. grr... Hindi din naman siya makakalusot dahil malakas ang pakiramdam ko kapag nagtatampo siya. Yes, nagtampo siya. Nahuli ko siya, once? Halata kasi eh. Inis na inis talaga ako sa kanya kapag hindi siya nagsasabi ng nararamdaman niya. Hirap na hirap siya mag open. Yes, boy's nature na nga ang hindi masyado palaimik kapag sad, or nasasaktan. Pero hindi din, dahil sabi nga niya, SECRETIVE siya sa mga ganun bagay. At dahil nga makulit ako, di ko siya tinigilan hanggang sa umamin siya kung bakit siya nagtampo. At tama nga ang hinala ko or namin ng friend ko, nasaktan/nalungkot siya nung sinabi ko na "kapag nawala yung nagpapaligaya sayo, wala na din yung happiness na nararamdaman mo.", at dahil nga sa Strong Personality ko, kaya ko din makalimot ng bagay or tao na nawala sa buhay ko. Days after that topic was opened, sinabi na din niya sakin na "ganun nalang ba yun?", then i realized i hit the soft spot on him. Malalim din pala talaga siya when it comes to this kind of topic? or dahil ako ang nagsabi, considering the fact that he will be leaving soon for his work. *sad* anyways...

This guy continuously amaze me. everytime I'm opening a topic or asking serious questions. Lalo na pag nagstart siya mag isip, natutuwa ako sa facial expression niya, para kasi ang tino tino niya? lol. Though, he is a serious looking guy kaya naman at first glance on him, you'll think that he's suplado or not even approachable, buti nalang hindi intimidating. :) But anyway, he is really smart. And i adore him for that. And sometimes, you won't expect that he would seriously answer you dahil na din sa personality niya na palabiro, yun eh kung kilala mo talaga siya.

He is a good friend... We had this, ugh! Basta! He told me that he misses his friends back in their province. I dunno how the topic started but, i remember that Wendy our common friend was talking to me that time. I forgot our topic, haha! And Jake was like, "namimiss ko lang ang friends ko", and i said "sige, pakilala kita sa friends ko." *smiles* Medyo nakakainis yung topic namin ni Jake that time eh, kaya nakalimutan ko na. Anyway, just wondering what happened on his past relationships... HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! LMFAO. Honestly speaking, for months that we've been going out together, he is OK! I mean how the hell a girl won't like him?? Kaya sa sobrang pagiging usisa ko one time, dinerecho ko siya ng tanong... At nagulat ako sa sagot. HAHAHAHA!!! And i was laughing inside me. *peace* (i don't wanna offend him when he reads this kaya medyo bitin itong part na toh.)

Oh, i remember now... Meron ako isang hindi makakalimutan at talagang hindi ko kakalimutan about him. I dunno where we were that time, baka nakatambay kami. I was sharing about our bonding moments, me with my parents. I told him that we watch movie together and we really love watching movies together. Then he butt in that he misses watching movie with his whole family. When he was sharing about that, napatingin nalang ako sa kanya. Tinitigan ko siya, and he was like a kid. Poor boy... Ang thoughtful niya. Pakiramdam ko, kung hindi lang talaga kailangan lumayo sa family niya, maybe... or he might really spend time and money that he was earning that time para lang makasama and makapanood sila ng movie together. He said that, i think elementary pa siya the last time they watched a movie in a movie house. (wish i could tell his family about this.) Geez, kung mayaman lang talaga ako, baka pinasara ko na isang movie house somewhere here in manila for private viewing and consume all the time they can just to watch whatever movie they like. :)


Ugh... How i wish i have a brother, an older one. Needless to say, Jake is a damn proud kuya, and son. Minsan, inaantay ko lang siya magkuwento about his family. And shockingly, he is sharing things about his family, hahahahaha!!! Pati ata love story ng parents niya nakuwento niya while walking down the streets near PUP ata yun?? Susme, Puno't bunga nga naman, lol! Naaah... Pinakita lang naman niya sakin ang totoong buhay niya back in his college days, (honestly, natakot ako dun sa place. Inaliw lang niya ako sa kadaldalan niya,haha!) He was able to share how they were brought up by his parents, which is same thing as mine. cool huh?? lol. One time, inaantay ko lang siya magsabi sakin ng latest news about... hmm... eh naunahan ko na siya, di lang ako umiimik. Ang tagal bago niya makita! Grr... Till finally, he told me to check on something... Nasabi ko nalang sa sarili ko, "nyeh, tagal ko ng alam yan", haha! Pero, naman! PaSimpleng proud kuya, haha! Bat ko nga ba nasabi na paSimpleng proud kuya yun?! Ewan ko, ramdam ko lang talaga that time. hihi! Afterall, he won't let me check on it if he isn't right? :)

(Pwede ba kita ibuko dito Jake? hahaha!! I have so many things to reveal. lol.)

Ok, eto na... He's now in training? For his new work, Daw!? naaahhh... JK.

I received a new message from him. It was long, and i didn't expect him to type that long kasi nga he is tamad and napaka bagal niya magtype. *giggles* Ang dami niyang balita about how he is doing back there. Should I mention those here? Can i? Kaso mabubuko lang. ^_^
As I was telling him, ayun, nangyari na nga ang inaantay ko. Sa kanya na din mismo nanggaling...


Whoopss!!!



"Cliff-Hanger" *giggles* err... miss this guy... ^_^











***

sing me a song....

* IM NOT IN THE MOOD TO WRITE SOMETHING HERE, BUT SINCE I MADE A PROMISE TO MYSELF THAT I WILL FINISH WHAT IVE STARTED, AND ALSO FOR MY FRIEND’S SATISFACTION, WHICH HOPEFULLY  HE’S ALSO ENJOYING READING MY ENTRIES, I WILL FINISH THIS ONE. 

OCTOBER 24, 2009

Hindi ko alam where and how to start this one. Ok, normal Saturday night, I was with Jake again. We went near his working place to have dinner, but the particular place was already closed because it was already 8pm. We walked and had dinner along the way, siya lang ang kumain, hehe. I was really not in mood to eat, hindi ko alam kung bakit. Then we walk and walk and walk till we reached Metrowalk, nakarating kami ng buhay! Haha! Honestly, I was scared while we were walking, hehehe! Hindi biro mga dinaanan namin, madilim and patawid tawid pa. But it was fun though, inaaliw nya ko sa kadaldalan nya. Haha!

Finally, nakarating na nga kami ng Metrowalk, the place is nice, para syang isang gimikan din sa Laguna. Mas ok sana kung may live band pagdating namin dun, talagang ako pa sana magyayaya sa kanya to choose a bar to  hang out. Anyway, since wala ngang live band that night, gumala nalang kami sa place.

We bought a dog figurine with the letter of our first name, sweet eh? Lol.

(So… im now destracted dahil lumipat ako ng place, im now here on my friend’s room. Dito daw muna ako, hehe! And to motivate my mood, go naman ako!)

After buying that figurine, we walked again and decided to go somewhere else and ended up at a KTV. Syempre, ano pa nga ba ang gagawin dun, kundi kumanta. Gusto mo ng sample??? You can see my video at my facebook account.

Hahaha! Ang kapal ng muka ko right? Hehe… but that video was taken unconsciously! Hahahaha!!! Akala ko niloloko lang nya ko na he was taking me video, yun pala, totoo na! hahaha! Grrr… and he posted it in facebook, and my friends reacted on that. Haha! Ngayon lang daw nila ako nakita na kumakanta. Haha! Sa bahay lang kasi ako kumakanta, kasama parents ko or mga family friends.

Jake was drinking a case of beer, coors light! Haha! My brand, kaso wala ako sa mood uminom, and iniiwasan ko na talaga uminom. Haha, health reasons… He was a bit tipsy na din and patapos na din ang time namin  so after paying the bill, natulog na din kami somewhere. LOL.

Another escapade… fun fun fun… maiba naman ang trip, nagkantahan lang kami. Hehe! :p at talagang nakakadala yung bill. We won’t forget that night. Hahahaha!

more trip to come!

"A story that started with... precious moments!"

October 17, 2009; Saturday

I was out with my parents to have dinner. Kasama na din ang dormate ko, sasabay na din kasi sya sa parents ko pag-uwi sa Laguna...

That day, katxt ko na ang friend ko, si Jake. Niyaya ko sya na tumambay sa Starbucks, ako na naman kasi mag isa sa dorm, wala na kasi kinakapatid and at the same time ay roomate ko, umuwi na din kasi siya sa Laguna. Ayoko malungkot, so siya yung mabilis na niyaya ko at alam ko na posibleng makakasama ko that night; and as expected, he said yes. But when i txtd him again that night, niyaya daw pala siya ng isa pa namin friend. Iinom daw sila. So sabi ko nalang, itxt nalang niya ako kapag hindi sila matutuloy, dahil 7pm na, hindi pa din nagttxt yung friend namin kung tuloy pa ba sila.

Almost 8pm na, pabalik na ako sa dorm. I txtd Jake and asked him kung matutuloy pa ba kami, and he said na tuloy daw kami, hindi pa din daw kasi nagttxt yung friend namin kung tuloy pa sila. So sabi ko, meet kami ng 9.15pm, and sabi nya sa dating tagpuan daw, natawa ako, akala ko kung saan, sa dorm ko pala, hahaha!

That night ko lang ulit sya makikita and makakasama tumambay after ilang months na nanahimik sya, haha! :)) so here it goes...

First stop, at my Dorm (La Residencia II) : (nakuha ko pa maligo... buti nalang! haha! and you'll know why...) eto na, dumating na sya. haha! hmm... Habang naglalakad kami, sabi niya, umuwi na daw yung friend namin somewhere in QC. Nakakagulat, pero yun ang sabi niya ha, hehe... (no more comment ^_^ )

2nd stop, Harbour Square (Starbucks): Sa labas na kami umupo dahil nagyoyosi that time si Jake. So puro kwentuhan and tawanan, ang tagal namin di nagkita eh. Buti nalang wala masyadong ilangan, haha! So habang nagkukwentuhan kami, may grupo ng mga boys, no idea kung nakatambay din ba sila sa harbour sq., or napadaan lang. Nagkakagulo sila, and alam ko yung ganun klase ng scene dahil sanay ako sa mga ganun klase ng kaguluhan, lalo na involved ang pulis, haha! Nakita ko nakatingin na sakin yung isang guy, so tumayo agad ako and niyaya ko na si Jake na lumipat ng ibang place. Nakakatawa sya, nagulat sya sakin, naglaglagan pa mga gamit nya, hahaha! :p so habang naglalakad na kami away from starbucks, katxt nya ang kapatid nya na nasa MOA. So naisipan din namin na pumunta ng MOA... :)

3rd stop, MOA: Nakarating na kami ng MOA, halos lakarin namin yung seaside ng dulo sa dulo, madaming tambay at talagang gimikan, may bar kasi :) may nadaanan din kaming mga bata na naglalaro ng 2 puppies, ang cute talaga ng black puppies, akala namin stuff toys lang na may battery kaya nakakagalaw, haha! Hindi namin nakita kapatid ni Jake. At dahil puro bar ang nadadaanan namin  habang naglalakad lakad, naisipan nya na mag bar. Since hindi na ko umiinom, sabi ko mag comedy bar nalang kami.

4th stop, Punchline: Hindi kami nakapasok, puno na daw. Nakiihi nalang si Jake sa bar. haha! Poor us, si Vice ganda pa naman ang performer. grr.... Next time nalang :)

... sakay ulit kami ng taxi, and Jake suggested sa alam nyang bar sa Sampaloc, edi go naman kami! :)

5th stop, Panulukan Bar at Sampaloc Manila : Nakarating din kami after ng paikot ikot sa may Sampaloc. I was not sure kung anong oras na kami nakarating, maybe 1.30am. There was an acoustic singer, he was singing lovely old songs, nagkataon pa na parehas pa namin gusto ni Jake yung songs, so enjoy kami. Ang ganda ng place, cozy. Mukang dinadayo yun dahil puno na talaga, buti nalang nakapasok pa kami. We ordered pulutan and few bottles of beer for Jake. So habang inaantay ang order, we were enjoying the live jam. Nakakatuwa, ang gagaling ng mga audience, haha! Hindi pa nakokompleto ang order namin, mukang gusto na kami paalisin ng waiter, haha! past 2am na din kasi, and closing time nila is 2.30. So back to the people around us, we were both enjoying the scene of this couple in another table, hahaha!! Seductive si girly, bumubuyangyang sa harap ni boyet! LOL. Buti nalang umalis din sila agad, la ako sa mood to watch a live show. haha! :)) After few minutes, natapos din magpapak ng pulutan. :)

Nasa labas na kami ng bar. Parang bitin pa, hindi pa namin alam kung san pa pwede pumunta. Jake said, Timog daw, pero along the way, naisipan namin pumunta pa somewhere else. So.... GO ULIT! hahaha! :)

Habang nasa taxi, ang saya, puro kalokohan and kwentuhan. Nakisali na din si manong driver sa kwentuhan namin. Nagshare si manong ng mga experiences nya as a driver. hahaha! Tawanan lang talaga. Nag stop over kami sa isang gasoline station to pee. Manong asked me kung bakla daw ba si Jake, dahil na din sa topics namin, HAHAHAHA! Sana pala sinabi ko na OO, haha! :p So, ok na. Hindi talaga namin alam kung timog or kung san man kami papunta. Ako ata nagtanong kay manong kung san pwede pumunta, madaling araw na din kasi, and 3 or 4am na din, sa totoo lang pagod na ko non, hihi! (peace beb!) i dun wanna spoil the trip, go nalang din ako ng go! haha! hhmmm... May pinagmamayabang si manong na place, madami na din daw siya nadala na pasahero sa place na yun. hahaha! Ok, whatever manong... haha! So convinced naman kami, maganda daw talaga kasi eh, and madami din daw magagawa dun. So sige na nga. haha!

6th stop: Nakarating din after 30-45mins of travel, I won't mention the place, baka mabuking kung san man talaga yun, though my friends know where it is, haha! :)

Pagbaba ko palang ng taxi, kahit madilim, geez, i knew what it was! At pagpasok palang dun, alam na kung ano man yun! hahahahahaha!! ( I won't forget that place!) So, sa pagaod ko, higa agad ako, im sooooo dead tired! At si Jake, dinadaldal pa din ako! grrr... Tulugan ko nga sya, haha! Nagising kami ng around 7am,we went outside to check the place. Maganda sya, kung may resort lang dun, panalo na yung place na yun! Kulang sa maintainance, sayang. But the place itself is nice. :) Pwede din ang barkada dun. ^_^  sshhh... nakatulog ulit kami... zzzZZzzz....


Ten in the morning, nagising na ang mga trippers. Mga gutom! hahahaha! we ordered food... foooooood... hahahaha!!! Kailangan ubusin para sulit at umalis on time para tipid. haha! :)





7th stop: Naglalakad na... Hanap na naman ng masasakyan at lakad dito, tawid don, ang ineeet! Hindi pa kami pagod, ang aga pa! Mga 1pm palang naman, hihi! We planned to watch a movie! haha! oha... So habang naghihintay ng time namin to watch, gumala pa kami sa mall (Sta. Lucia Mall). I saw a frame in a store, "World's Greatest Engineer" ba kamo? haha! Pinahanap ko pa talaga yun, ang totpul ko diba?? Ubusan na ng lahi dat time, pero ok lang! go! haha! Ok, sige, lakad lakad pa. Mahaba pa ang oras eh. Dahil namagnet na naman ako ng mga stuff toys, pumasok ako sa Blue Magic. :) nagtingin tingin.. Hanggang tingin lang naman eh, mahirap na maubusan ng pamasahe, haha! So... Unexpectedly, Jake bought me a puppy! hahahaha!! :)) LOL. Our puppy's name is Timmy! Timmy the Flying Dog! hahaha! *sweet Jake*, hindi na nya pinaplastic si Timmy, talagang dala ko sya hanggang paguwi namin. tsk. Wawa si Timmy, pagod... :(

Final Destination: After crying and laughing while watching the blockbuster movie? Umuwi na kami! haha! Malapit na mag 24hours na wala pa kaming ligo at brushing our teeth! geez... But! Pagdating namin sa dorm ko, unbelievable! Nakapasok si Jake without me arguing with the guard, lol. Pag nga naman sinuswerte noh? Humiram kasi sya ng cd's, hehe. Nakakahiya din naman sa kanya na paghintayin ko sya sa labas ng dorm, pagod na sya. :) hmm... Hindi pa sya umuwi agad, we went to St. Jude Thaddeus Parish. Hahaha! He lighted candles, naks! :) After that, we went to Mcdo and ate... whew! After that, we went to.... Naaaahhhh... Hanggang dun nalang po! haha! Tao din kami, napapagod din. Honestly, wala na kaming pera, kaya uwian naaaa! Hahahahah! :)) Bow.... :)

**

We went online pa nga pagkauwi namin. Pero syempre, naligo and natulog muna kami. Hahaha! Bawi bawi ng konti, hindi biro yung trip na yun. Hindi kami prepared. :) We really enjoyed that unplanned trip. Iba yung saya, biglaang saya! haha! Mapapauwi ka lang dahil wala ka ng pera! haha! My story was intentionally not detailed. I didn't mention names para iwas isssues, lalo na from my friends and our common friends. Though some of my friends knew what really happened, and they enjoyed my story. :)

This kind of memories should be treasured forever, lalo na with your friend/s. It's not easy to find someone you're comfortable to hang out with. Walang arte, walang keme, walang reklamo.  Lahat ginawa dahil gusto at nasiyahan kayo, kumbaga, "Simpleng tambay na nauwi sa masayang paglalakbay.", sino ang makakalimot sa ganoong pangyayari??

Isang pambihirang pagkakataon. Salamat na din at "Medyo" matino ang kasama kong si Jake. haha! ( you're the man Jake! mwaaahhh!! ) No boring time with him. Everything is worth remembering, naks!


We'll keep this happy memories we had...



Next trip, October 24, 2009, Saturday.....

♥ wishlist.....

I FOUND A FRIEND IN YOU… BEBI…

For past 3 years, i have this txtfriend hus always der for me and supports me.

Though not that close and havnt met him in person, somehow, he made me feel that there’s always this someone hus willing to help and calm you down everytime ur sad and got problems, and thats my BEBI brother, king…

last february, for one month, surprisingly for him, i stayed at his school’s dormitory (exclusive for boys) because thats the nearest and safest place to stay while i was having my internship in a company…

we were both excited that finally we’ll meet, together with our other common friends.. we enjoyed my first night. the crowd, the music, bonding, funny moments and especially the siomai they bought for me when they visited me at my room.. i wont forget dat siomai, kainis! hahahah!!!

a brother:

while on that dormitory, i felt like a princess…

everynight, he checks on me or waits for me when i arrived from work. he makes sure that i had my dinner before i sleep.. or as much as possible, we have dinner together while chatting and share stories about our other friends before ho goes home from school….

everymorning, before leaving for work, hes banging at my door while i was taking a bath and patiently waits for me till i opened him up.. oh, he always bring hot instant cupped noodles for me, he arranges my things, folded my clothes that i wear in work and made sure that i had my breakfast (noodles and coffee).

and kapag may gimik kami, lagi akong hatid sundo…. and take note, laging umuulan kapag mag kasama kaming lumalabas…

and he was doing those to me for almost one month…

very sweet huh?!

a bestfriend, spiritual advicer and a family member:

he gives advices spiritually, everytime im down and something or someone’s bugging my mind.. he often calls me, papagalitan ako and ang daming bilin. which i like most… if i need him ryt away, he’s always free, at least thru cellphone if he cant make it going at my pad…. damn miss that back in laguna… and my parents like him so much….

last hugs and kisses:

on my last night, last stay at canlubang, we had our last dinner together. unfortunately, our other friend didnt make it, so sad. but then, we enjoyed. we took pictures when we arrived in dorm, and isang mahabang sermon at san damakmak na bilin from him… he even gave me his own rosary, nakakatouch. :) i hugged him tightly and kissed him (cheeks, grr!). and the next day, he helped us packing my things. my parents were honored to meet him because he took good care of me… my dad talked to him while i was with my mom… i miss that moment, i wish he is my real brother.. before leaving him, i gave him my last hug… and i almost cried.. :(

i’m thankful, God gave him to me….

and needless to say, i love my bebi brother…

*right now, im crying.. :’(

pakiramdam ko, hndi ko na sya makikita ulit.

he called me up awyl ago, sa mga sinasabi nya and mga bilin and paalala, i felt like he is leaving me for good, kahit he promised me na babawi sya pagbalik niya… :( cant wait to see him again, and hug him….

the reason hes leaving?

i cant tell yet…

secret is a secret…

im gonna miss him…

* * *

LIFE IS SO UNFAIR…BABE…

“life is so unfair”… - pretty girl…

me and my friend coleen went to greenhills last week. honestly, para lang mag starbucks and spend time together, alam mo na, kasama na dun ang kwentuhan and chismisan. after getting our orders, nagkataon na wala ng vacant seats sa loob. so pabor sakin coz i smoke, sa labas kami, no choice. starting our topic, there was this pretty mestiza girl who seated next to our table. harapan kami nung girl. while we were chatting, this girl (i wont mention her name), started smiling at us, syempre we’re not that suplada type, so we smiled back at her. then suddenly, she started talking to us, asking questions like how old we are, where we from, specifically location and school. sabi ni girl, she’s enjoying watching us, tawa daw kami ng tawa. syempre kinausap din namin sya hanggang pinalipat niya kami sa table niya. nagkwentuhan kami for three hours. and muntik ko na maubos ang isang kahang yosi. grrr!!!

she opened up her personal problem to us. this girl is definitely pretty, single, educated, socialite, rich and belongs to a well known family. perfect i may say. when she was starting to tell her story, i knew it was about a relationship. and i can say that life is really unfair after hearing her problem. she’s totally inlove with this married guy. yes, married. but! before she enters this kind of situation, she knew that it’s wrong, immoral. oh well, what can we say? L-O-V-E yun eh. even me, if i find this married man so damn perfect, tell me, won’t you fall in love too? haaaayyy….

ang kaso, she’s too pretty to have this kind of problem. hindi ko maintindihan bakit yung guy na yun ang napagtuunan niya ng pansin. ang sa akin lang, umiwas ka sa problema diba? there are so many men out there who are still single and ready to mingle. haha!

grabe, wala akong nasabing maganda for her, and i was so sorry. i mean, hndi ako makapag bigay ng payo or i dunno how i will comfort her that time. all we can do is accompany her. kahit madami kaming napagkwentuhan that night, i can see in her eyes na talagang love niya yung guy. we are having the same problems actually. kaya madalas ko din sabihin na life is so unfair.

wala akong nakikitang masama/mali sa kanya, kahit first meeting palang namin that night. she’s cool.. really cool… kaya hindi ko rin maisip kung bakit siya pinahihirapan ng ganon.

akala ko that night, iuuwi pa niya kami para lang masamahan siya. buti nalang her friends were waiting for her.

the next morning, she txted us. she was thankful na nakilala niya kami, and likewise. syempre nagkaroon kami ng new friend and new ate diba…

nagtxt ulit siya nung gabi, and she said na malungkot pa din daw siya. oh well… a heart warming message nalang ang nareply ko to her, kahit i don’t even know what to say, baka kasi maoffend siya.

after that night, she stoped txting us…

we are still waiting for a good news from her. hopefully, madinig namin na she moved on and happy na siya ulit.

life is really unfair. coz if not, we won’t learn how to handle problems like this. and we won’t be strong coz of this problems.

God balances everything for us, and being unfair is His one way.

afterall, para din satin ang trials niya.

we’ll realize that if suddenly, we feel complete, happy and contented…

***

THIS IS WHAT I FEEL, THIS IS HOW I FEEL AND THIS IS WHY I THINK THINGS LIKE THIS…

Sa totoo lang, hindi rin naman talaga ginusto ng mga taong mahal natin ang saktan tayo o kaya naman ay ang mga bagay na bigla nalang mawawala. Hindi naman nila sinasadyang iwan tayo. Minsan kailangan din natin tanggapin na sa paniniwala nila, ito ang makakabuti at ikasasaya nila.

Mahirap ang maiwanan, masakit diba? mahirap din ang mangiwan, dahil masakit at nakakakonsensya… Pero mas dun ka sasaya kung yun ang desisyon at maluwag iyon sa loob mo.

Hindi mo magagawang makasakit at mangiwan ng iba kung alam mo, sa sarili mo, walang ibang bagay o tao ang mas makakapagpaligaya sayo o kung ramdam mo na mas kuntento at kumpleto ang buhay mo kasama sya o ang bagay na yun…

minsan, kailangan mo talaga isakripisyo ang isang bagay o tao para sa ikabubuti mo at ikaliligaya mo… Ika nga nila “you can’t serve two masters at a time.” o “you can’t have it all.” Isa isa lang… Hindi mo makukuha ang lahat ng gusto mo…

—

naransan mo na bang maiwanan at mangiwan pero masaya ka? hindi diba? dahil mahal mo man o hindi, nasa loob mo pa din ang kaba, sakit at konsensyang makakasakit ka.

tama ba na iwan at mangiwan kapalit ng kaligayahan? sabihin na natin na naging sakim ka kung pinili mo mangiwan. pero, mahirap naman siguro ang magdusa at mahirapan sa isang sitwasyong pilit mong iniintindi, inaayos pero ayaw nitong tanggapin ang tama at ang mga di dapat gawin at mga bagay na di para sa kanya.

ikaw? san ka mas liligaya? ang mangiwan o ang maiwanan?

san mas hindi ka makakasakit, o masasaktan? sa mangiwan o iwanan nalang?

sa mundong ito, wala ng madali at mabilis… lahat tayo kailangan natin mag desisyon, mag isip at gumalaw ng tama.

…at hindi din tayo tatama at malalaman ang tama kung hndi tayo matututo sa ating sariling kamalian…

kung maiwanan o mangiwan tayo…

Ganun lang naman talaga, dun sila kung saan sila masaya. Ganun din naman siguro ang gagawin natin kung tayo ang nasa sitwasyon diba? Lahat tayo mararanasang iwanan at mangiwan. Panapanahon lang yan…

wag lang tayo magsisisi, dahil ginusto natin na mapunta sa atin ang taong iyon o bagay man yon.

dahil sa isang banda, naranasan mo din maging masaya… ^_^

Who am I?

There are a lot of factors, things that leads my life into a colorful bliss. I was raised in a healthy filled of love home.

My life, I would consider, is a lot more of my favorite game, like a car race to be exact. Every decision I make takes a lot of serious thinking. Every choice I create always brings me into a big challenge to face.

I look like a normal, ordinary individual on the outside. But then, don’t we all? The problem is, sometimes I don’t feel I am. Haha!

Anyway, who will think that at the first glance I’m an only child of well- known Mr. and Mrs. Cenon San Pedro who are both successful doctor in my hometown.

I grew up in a funny, educational and loving home, with an affectionate perfect father and mother. I am an only child. Yes, only child that everybody keeps on asking me, “hindi ba malungkot?” or they will tell me, “ang swerte mo naman, nasa iyo na lahat, and nasusunod ka lagi.”, which they are all wrong.

Honestly, there were times that I feel so alone and neglected, but my parents made me realize things and gave me wisdom to think what is right from wrong. Yes, I am lucky to have everything I need, but

I never had all the things that I want. I enjoyed my childhood, definitely. With my cousins (I miss my lolo, who used to call me ELA, he doesn’t like calling me Pamela or Pam), classmates and playmates, they know me as a thin quiet girl, who’s always saling ketket in games. I also had a childhood sweetheart back in pre-elementary up to mid grade school and still my classmate in high school, who is also a good friend of mine now. Oh, don’t ask about my high school life. I had so many memories to share and kilig moments of course, which my parents especially my mom, knows everything about that.

I am one happy sailing soul! How can I say that? Well, I am not like other people who are happy and contented on what they have and on what they have attained but they keep their feelings to themselves.

I feel loved. Most people I care about love me back. I am most thankful for that. Even though I am not that good girl everybody expects, they still give me a lot of affection, which sometimes double the limit, most especially those who admires mo now and courting me before. I have lot of friends here in Laguna and back then in C.E.U. Manila, which is my second home. My friends are everything I ask for. Even though we don’t see each other that often, we know deep in ourselves that there’s still this special string that binds together. But from time to time, we still have bonding moments yearly.

My life has been blessed. (Thank you Lord!) I am studying to one of the country’s well- known university. I have pairs of slippers and shoes, my collection of magazines and wrappers of flowers that my boyfriend sent me all the way from Europe, two different unit of mobile phones and an expensive headset my dad gave me, a laptop for online communication and a latest PSP 3004, and I also drive a 9 year old automatic first model of CR-V… (Are these enough???) Anyway, some of these things make me happy, so when one of these would be lost, I don’t think my life would be quite the same.

My mushy cheesy life. I’m strong enough to hold back my emotions. I have burdens too, which I would rather not have. They affect my heart and exhaust my mind. They bother me but its distraction is what keeps my life more challenging and full of spice. As long as I can feel love and happiness through my loved ones, I am certain that I will be alive.

***